Tradition and spirituality have made a commitment to always hold a place of reverence. People from the past didn't view commitment as a social construct but as a sacred covenant.
It was a solemn promise, an act of offering oneself to another, with a depth that transcended the ephemeral nature of human existence.
They understood that commitment was the bedrock of a healthy society. It was the glue that held communities together, the thread that connected generations and the beacon that guided individuals through the seas of life.
Commitment was seen as the bridge between the mortal and the divine, a manifestation of one's higher self.
Relationships nowadays see commitment as a burden. As C.S. Lewis observed,
"We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive."
The juxtaposition of ancient wisdom and contemporary fears is most palpable in our approach to commitment. The modern psyche, shaped by the dual forces of individualism and instant gratification, recoils at the thought of binding oneself for the long haul.
The very idea of commitment, with its demands of sacrifice, patience and perseverance, seems at odds with the ethos of the present age.
We cannot help but wonder: Have we, in our quest for freedom and autonomy, traded the profound for the superficial? Have we forsaken the deep waters of genuine commitment for momentary connections?
Is True Commitment the Divine Path to Love's Eternal Embrace?
A relationship built on commitment is one where both partners have made a conscious decision to stay together and work towards a shared future. This means being open and honest about their hopes, dreams and plans for themselves and the relationship.
Commitment is very important because the excitement of a relationship wears off with time. The "spark" that people build relationships on comes and goes. So, people need to decide to stay with each other intentionally.
For a committed relationship to work, it has to be based on the promise of honesty, trust, love and faith in each other. A great confidence and commitment builder in a relationship is a shared, positive experience with the person you love.
Commitment doesn’t happen all by itself.
There is some choice involved. And you can’t just decide to be committed, it is a process of building and cultivating it. And when you develop the commitment of a partnership, the ease that comes from being securely bonded is a great asset not only to your relationship but also to your life in general.
In the Abrahamic traditions, commitment is seen as a covenant with the Divine. It is a bond, a promise that is not just between two individuals but also with God. This sacred bond is beautifully captured in the Song of Solomon,
"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death."
But past the scriptures and teachings, lies a deeper, more universal truth. The sacred bond of commitment between two souls is but a reflection of an ethereal connection. It is not one of bondage but of freedom. It is in this union that two souls find their true essence, their purpose and their path to transcendence.
The mystic poet Rumi once mused,
"The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along."
This encapsulates the essence of spiritual commitment. It is not about finding someone to live with but finding someone you cannot imagine living without.
Commitment sees no boundaries of time, culture or tradition. It is a universal truth. As C.S. Lewis so eloquently put it,
"To love at all is to be vulnerable."
In this vulnerability, in this sacred commitment, we find our strength, our purpose and our path to the divine.
Has the Digital Age Eroded Our Soul's Desire for Commitment?
In recent times, there has been a shift from traditional values to modern apprehensions. This shift has been influenced by various societal factors that have contributed to the fear of commitment.
There was a time when a commitment was not seen as an obligation but as a profound spiritual undertaking, binding two souls. With time, our perceptions and values began to change. The age-old reverence for commitment began to fade, replaced by a modern apprehension that casts a shadow on the essence of a deep bond.
If someone asks for more, you can simply swipe to the next. And keep diving into the meaningless swipe until you come across someone who is just enough for you to form a meaningless relationship with.
This leads to a culture of instant gratification and short-term relationships. This results in a disconnect between traditional values of commitment and modern apprehension towards it.
The metamorphosis from traditional values to contemporary fears is not an accident of time but a reflection of the changing societal landscape. The world we inhabit today is very different from the epochs of our ancestors.
The digital age has birthed a paradox. The screens that promise connection are the barriers, shielding us from the vulnerability and intimacy that true commitment demands. As the philosopher Kierkegaard aptly mused,
"Now, with God's help, I shall become myself."
In the digital age, the quest for the authentic self is lost in the cacophony of fleeting connections and transient trysts. We can't even help ourselves. It is only God that can intervene and set us straight.
Why do we say that we can't help ourselves?
Because people have become drawn to achievements. Certain milestones in their personal and professional lives must be attained before settling down. This leaves little room for the uncertainty and vulnerability that comes with commitment. This is what has led to a reluctance to commit, as people prioritize their individual goals over building deep and meaningful connections.
Do Our Souls Whisper Ancestral Tales?
There is an imperceptible to the conscious mind, that guides the interactions and connections of a person. Psychologists refer to it as "attachment styles."
The dismissive-avoidant style, referred to as aloofness or emotional detachment can be better understood when viewed as a protective shield. It is the soul's intuitive response to past wounds, a defense mechanism created in the fires of betrayal, neglect or abandonment.
Those who exhibit this style are not running from intimacy but from the shadows of past traumas that intimacy might unveil. Their souls, having once bared themselves in vulnerability and faced the sting of rejection, have learned to self-preserve. This comes at a deep cost of meaningful connections.
Venturing into the realm of spirituality and metaphysics, we also wonder: could our attachment styles be echoes from past lives? Could the soul, in its eternal journey, carry forward memories, emotions and lessons from one lifetime of ancestors to another?
The concept of ancestral memories suggests that we inherit not just genetic material but also emotional and spiritual imprints from those who came before us. These imprints passed down through generations, might subtly influence our behaviors, fears and desires.
Can We Still Rekindle Soulful Connections in the Digital Age?
A dismissive-avoidant attachment style asks one to introspect and heal.
Every soul has been assigned a journey for their life on Earth, seeking experiences, lessons and growth.
Those with a dismissive-avoidant nature are gently nudged by the universe to confront and heal past traumas, seeking connections that transcend the physical or emotional, reaching the spiritual realm.
Their protective demeanor, while a shield, also stands as a testament to their resilience and ability to endure past adversities.
In today's digital age, we've observed that many people find solace in this attachment style. It's a protective barrier, allowing them to flit from one relationship to another without the weight of expectations or commitment. They are able to ignore that the true purpose of their existence is to forge connections that resonate with our soul's purpose, to find meaning and experience wholeness.
In a world where fleeting connections are the norm, there's a dire need to guide souls toward deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Recognizing this profound need, Based is weeks away from launching an app that seeks to connect individuals with shared values and spiritual alignment.
Moving past the transient nature of contemporary dating apps, Based envisions helping people form relationships rooted in mutual understanding, growth and spiritual resonance.
Reflecting on the depth of genuine connection, Timothy Keller aptly said,
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”
This profound connection, this divine love, is what the Based Dating App aspires to make possible.
